Let the HEADACHE BEGIN!!!!

So when should the boy trouble begin? Approximately what age now a days do you need to have the sex talk with your kids?

So my BFF and her fam are in town for a few days and spent most of yesterday with us and spent the night. Last year we were in Idaho to visit them over the 4th of July weekend. And my BFF captured a picture of Gwynne and her youngest (who happens to be about 6 months older then the trio)walking down the road hand in hand.



AAWWWWWW! Such sweet innocent love!

Now lets jump a little over a year later. Said boy in above picture was caught in Chloe's closet with her. Two six year olds what could they be doing?!?!?!?!

Can you guess? I won't even make the first guess count.

FOR THE LOVE OF BATMAN!!!!!!!!

They were in there kissing each other! DOH!

My BFF son tell us when asked what was going on. "She was kissing me" Now not much of a surprise as Chloe had gotten into a bit of trouble last school year for kissing a boy on the bus.

So we ask him to elaborate and where did she kiss him? He points to his cheeks and forehead. And we ask him if he was kissing her? Which he promptly says "NO!"

GUILTY! Oh so GUILTY!

So we let a little time go by. And then I ask Chloe. Did "A" kiss you? She gets all shy and covers her mouth with her hand. Something she does when she is embarrassed about something, and nods her head.

REALLY?!?!?!

And where was "A" kissing you???????/

OMFG!!!!!!!

Without hesitation she points to her LIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG!!! OMFG!!! OMFG!!! OMFG!!!!!

THEY ARE FUCKING SIX YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So being the stellar parents that my BFF and I are......... (LOL!!!!!) We are headed to a friends wedding later in the day. We tell them they now have to get married. And while we are at our friends wedding they will be getting married as well with them. ( I told you we are totally mom of the years!!!! Don't even TRY to be like us!)

So my BFF and her fam take off a few hours before us to help set up. I start to get the kids ready. As I'm drying Chloe's hair we have a bit of a heart to heart.

She tells me she can't get married. She isn't a TEENAGER!!!!!! WTF! You better be waiting a bit longer then that. Any one got a heads up on a bomb shelter I can build and put her ass in??? She is just a kid, she can't get married. (THANK YOU JESUS!!!!! She does have a brain in her head! LOL!

In comes some more STELLAR parenting on behalf of my BFF and I! ROFL! So we are BFF's, we refer to each other with our kids as "Auntie". Enter my WAY to smart for her own good daughter in self reflection after the "marriage" talk. "We can't get married he is my cousin" PEOPLE! Had I been drinking anything at the time it would have come FLYING the hell out of my nose!!!!!!!

My response: " WEEEELLLLLLLLL.......He isn't REALLY your cousin." Some how I didn't want my sweet not so innocent child thinking she was being some backwards cousin lovin' white trash girl. So basically, in one sentence I told her it was okay to mac all over "A"!!!!!!

S-T-E-L-L-A-R!!!!! Stellar parenting!

I'm going to be teaching classes in stellar parenting. If your interested and want to sign up. Go to youradumbass.com.

Driving!

Since I'm on a role of bitching. Can we talk about two lane driving?? So we moved kind of to BFE back in June. Lots of open desert between places and a two lane highway used to get home.



Now! It's not like this town is a population of say 500. It has a good amount of people living there. To where there is no way in hell your going to know everyone by name. NOT EVEN CLOSE! Not to mention the traffic of people traveling.

Yes there are no street lights in big chunks of this highway. But do you really need to put your brights on?? NO! Especially if your about a car and half length behind someone else! And oh say there are about 6-7 cars including a semi or two on the patch of road with you. Not to mention that about every 30 seconds or so there is a group of the same coming in the opposite direction to you???? So much traffic on a steady flow that you can't even use the second lane to pass someone in the same lane as you????

Is it me? Am I missing something here??? Isn't your brights used when your out in the middle of no where and it's just you and maybe a car you might come upon once in a great while??? Do I have the wrong driving etiquette? Am I the ass???

And did I miss the re-naming of the pass?? Is it now "Your Own Personal Speedway"? Really, 90 -100 miles an hour up or down the mountain??!?!?! You have lost your damn minds! And you are on the fast track to loosing your life as well. Not to mention who the hell has that kind of money to be burning with the cost of gas!!!!

PEOPLE! PEOPLE! Stop using your damn brights and risking not only your life but those who are sharing the road with you!

Cerebral Contusion

Anyone? Anyone at all? Yeah, until today I had no idea what the hell this was. But I gots it! The info on a cerebral contusion in case you are like me and never heard of it. This is what worries me. "The swelling is worst at around four to six days after the injury." I already feel like ass, trouble talking to people. Which has worked just wonderfully while at work today. Talking and thinking with this just doesn't happen. And I'm just about 24 hours out from the injury. I'm suppose to go back on Friday and feel better. How is that possible if I'm going to be right in the time frame of the WORST SWELLING?!?!?!?!

That being said if I don't feel any better then I do now come Friday he will order a scan. Which seems like a pity scan. I swear I think my doctors feel I'm a hypochondriac. Okay, well I am a little as I'm getting older, but he is the one who pointed out the HUGE lump on the back of my head. How the hell do you fake that shit?

And I found out from another article on-line while my well edited rant from last night happened and why I TOTALLY lost it at bath time. Seems agitation and/or irritability is part of the symptoms.

Those of you who don't know I'm sure are asking how the hell did this happen? The freakin DOG!!!! Had a dog at my feet, got up from the couch and the dog jumped up between my legs knocking me off balance. All my weight (COW - MMMMOOOOOOOOOOO!) was already heading in one direction and I kind of jumped into it to make sure I landed on the couch. Instead of the dog and/or toys and crap that were on the floor. Well I made it alright! Bounced the back of my head with hair clip on the arm of our sectional. Kind of blacked out as I fell. Probably cause my body knew this was not going to be good. So my Orca ass crashed on the couch cracked my head just about open. What about the hair clip you say?!?! What clip? I was pulling little pieces out of my curly hair afterwards.

I guess I should feel lucky it didn't get logged into my head? I mean if you want to look at the piece of shit cup as half full and all. And better for me to be injured who has medical insurance then some big expensive vet bill from a dog with a cracked skull, broken legs, ribs and who knows possibly what else had I went straight down. I did say I'm a whale right? Would the poor dog even had survived? Then I would have to live with killing our dog and my kids hating me and reminding me that there fat mom fell on and killed their dog.

Is it bad that I'm slightly pissed that fall didn't get caught on video? That had to have been some funny crap to see. Nothing cool and beautiful like a whale breaching the water. But more like a total spaz who shouldn't be allowed to move around without her crash helmet and bubble wrap on!

Kid's Handbook or Mother's Handbook

In who's handbook is it writen that I cannot go into a bathroom and be alone to handle what ever business I may need to attend to? That the only place on this earth I can catch a few moments alone is the bathroom at work.

Your kids can't hear you when you tell them to pick up their mess, brush your corn teeth, let the dog out, rinse their plates. HOWEVER, they can be fully involved in anything anywhere in the house and they hear the quiet subtle click of the bathroom door closing and come running!

Suddnely there are pressing questions that just can't wait and where never thought of until that click was heard.

"Mom? How come the sky is blue? Can I come in? What are you doing? Will you play with me?" Seriously?!?! Did I tell you I had the BEST shower this Saturday at my sisters? Yep! I got to take a full shower uninteruppted. I can't even say when the time before that was.

There other thing that needs to be revised. Why if a child is in limb reach of you they must have a hand, foot what ever on you for NO APPARENT reason? Can I just sit on the couch in peace once in awhile. And can I have my "Personal space"? If their isnt' a limb then I have a kid attached to my side, sometimes both.

I'm not practicing staking my tomatoes! Go be free! "This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine." I thought everyone knew this!

I need to know whose handbook this is written in find it and edit it! As I sit now I have two feet on me going back and forth between my arm and the computer. UGH! I'm about to loose my freaking mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so beyond TIRED!!!!!!!

Where to start! I have been working 11-12 hours every day at work, add commute time and I'm gone for about 14 hours a day Mon-Fri. Boy that pay check this week was nice, but I have not seen my family. I'm burned out and don't want to go to work. All this overtime and I'm still not caught up and will be doing the same again come next week.
That all being said. This means no I'm not unpacked. There are tons of boxes in my garage needing to be unpacked. A ton of laundry still to be done. Where is my Fairy Godmother? Cause the cat box needs to be cleaned the floors mopped, pictures hung. I could kiss my nurse that vaccumed the downstairs this morning and swept my kitchen.
Is it bad that I don't remember the last time my kids had a bath? Let alone the last time I gave them a bath? And there breath!!!!! OMFG!!!! KICKIN, doesn't even begin to explain it. There toothbrushes and toothpaste are unpacked. So, why? Why are their teeth not getting brushed? UGH! Can I make them each drink a bottle of Scope??? Or is that child abuse/endangerment?
I need like one full weekend of just sleep. Is that possible?? I wish!

FAIRY GODMOTHER WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

All moved in!

For the most part that is! :-). And our first mortgage payment is due Aug 1! LOL! I'm surround by boxes and unable to park our cars in the garage because of more boxes. My kitchen is unpacked and that is about it. Yet for some strange reason I have yet to cook in my new kitchen!

Sorry pics are before flooring was put in.

In about 4 days of being moved in the girls managed to put a hole in the wall on the staircase and a big gash/dent on the landing of the staircase, UGH! It seems they have found a new use for their step stool. Which BTW is now taken away for the time being. They are launching toys down the stair case. Also standing on the stool on the 2nd floor dropping toys and who knows what else over the ledge. Head shaking!

So after this weekend we will be completely out of our old place. Have some yard toys that didn't make it in the truck and toys that the kids are too old for I need to run to the hospital and donate for their play room.

I hope to have most of the house unpacked by the end of the weekend and get some groceries in this house as well. Money has been flying out with us eating out so much for the last week. But we kind of knew that was gonna happen. But everyone is off schedule and we need to get back into the routine.

Check back for some more photos. Gwynne's room is all painted and done and we should have Connor and Chloe's done hopefully next weekend.

Lots to catch up on!

I kind of abandoned the blog for a bit. Things happen I guess. Well we are officially home owners as of last week. Next weekend is the big move. Doing some painting in the kids rooms today. I'm very excited about owning a home, but scared to hell as well. I think it is all the changes that are going to come with this move. But we will roll with the punches and enjoy our new home.

The kids will each have their own rooms. Not sure how well this is going to work with the girls. They seem excited, but they have shared a room since the day they came home. So I expect to find an extra body in one room or the other after we move in.
Packing SUCKS!!!! Only made worse by I have had to work a lot of extra hours at work. So Jason has had to kind of pick up the slack and do a lot of the packing. But I think we are on track to be ready for the move.

All of this compounded by me just being plain flat exhausted! Saw the doc and he thinks it could be my thyroid. Last blood test I guess it was okay but barely. So I may be adding another pill to my daily's. GREAT! I have really lost my spunk lately, so hopefully I will get that back way sooner then later.

Ok this post is really boring so I will leave it at that for now.