Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The mark that summer is over!!! BOO!!!

The Fair coming to town is kind of the mark for the end of summer and back to school time around here. I remeber starting school and the first field trip of the year was to the Fair! Do kids still get to go on field trips??? It has been about 9 years since I have been to the fair and the last time was really just to show up for a concert, no real walking around. So I was a bit excited to be going, not to mention this would be the very first time for the kid's. Did I say that we FORGOT THE FREAKIN CAMERA?!?!?!?!?! Luckily Auntie Bonnie brought her's so we were able to get some pics!!!!

They were very excited and Chloe was looking forward to seeing the horses. Which as we were walking in to find grandma & papa they had the Budwiser horses out getting ready to walk through the fair. Miss Chloe was not happy that she was being kept back by a chain and wanted to pet the horses. Some how we pried her away only for someone, not sure who to inform Chloe that there was horse racing!!!! We didn't hear the end of this ALL DAY!!!!!!

Connor was not a very happy boy for most of the day. There was lots of loud music and that made him cry several times. But by the end of the day I don't know if he was so exhausted that EVERYTHING was hialrious or he had just come to enjoy what was going on. We got his face painted with a dragon on it, and the lady painted an a balloon on his arm with glitter and everything so he could see it. He wasn't too sure about the face painting and was a bit serious with a couple smiles and giggles in between.

Gwynne was in fashion diva HEAVEN when we hit the jewlery booths. The girl came home with a TON of stuff. Earrings, bangle braclets, necklace w/earrings, & a new purse. She was a shopping manic. But I swear by the end of the day if I heard "I want..." one more time someone was going to get hurt!!!!! If I got paid that day for every time the phrase was said I would have made back all the money we spent plus some!!! So now we are broke, but I don't care. We all had a blast.

There was a really cool winter wonderland exhibit with a little ice skating rink, an area where the kids could run around and play with snow, and a little hill they could sled down. The girls went nuts!!!! They didn't want to stop sledding. So I have been thinking about getting some family together this winter and renting a cabin for a long weekend. Just have to figure out how that is going to work with Connor and his wheelchair! Logistics....they really suck!

We spent the most time I think with the farm animals. They had some the biggest freakin rabbits I have ever seen!!! They were bigger then my fat momma cat, and pretty dang close to the size of grandma's cocker spaniel only much longer!!!! I think one was sizing me up and wanted to beat me down for some reason.

The girls walked all day (about 8 hours)and walking out to the parking lot, Gwynnie was telling me "momma, I tired, my feet hurt." But my goodness my back was killing me and I made the little girl walk all the way to the car! LOL! Which.....we had a little trouble finding. LOL! We needed these at the end of the day not the beginning!!!

So that is how we spent our Saturday!

Friday, September 19, 2008

Self Reflection (Very long)

I have debated a bit on if I should make this post or not. Maybe I will hit publish or it will sit like several other items as "drafts" that never got posted. There was a little battle that brewed up on a triplet forum I have been part of pretty much since the day we found out we were having triplets. Jason made the first post and they really helped him come to terms with the thought of having three kids all at once when we were faced with the choice of selective reduction. A nice way to say abortion.
There was a recent new member(possible faker) that popped on with some very strong views and harsh words. But I'm a straight shooter so at first I was not really offended and let it roll off and posted to this person about my experience having micro preemie's and Connor's medical issues. Basically in one instance she is saying thank you for your stories, this is giving me so much info and apology and apology about how harsh she was, but that is who she is. I can totally respect that as I come off that way without intending to. Here is her very first post and intro to a forum filled with parents that have triplets or more.
So I just found out that I'm expecting 3 very healthy kiddos. I am completely freaked out. I already have one great 3 year old who will be 4 when the triplets come. My question is this - my doctors seem to be pushing having a reduction. My question to them is exactly which one of these perfectly healthy children do you suggest I kill?

I'm having a moral and emotional crisis!

I ethically don't believe in premature children and having society pay for the birth defects, time in intensive care and so on, but at the same time I am really torn because many people go to 33-36 weeks with no problem and have happy healthy children.

I am a really healthy eater, only organic all produce comes from our local farm, lots of legumes/grains, DHA, absolutely nothing that comes out of a box and has been processed in anyway and I order all grass fed meat directly from farmers. So.... I am hoping that helps.

I feel confident in my parenting skills and my 11 year marriage (my husband is a saint wings halo the whole nine), so I do not have those concerns. My one and only concern is getting these kids to term. That is it. I do NOT want a C-section (I find them boarderline butchery) and would hate to be forced into using formula, because frankly my breast is SO much easier, cleaner and more convinent (for me - not saying for everyone just it's easier for this lazy mom!). I hear many many nurses will not let you even breastfeed your babies for days - NIGHTMARE! Can they even legally do that?

Sigh, ok I'm terrified, and having a lot of angst.

Thoughts? Help? Words of wisdom? Anything?

Then she slaps everyone in the face again with the following post
"I currently have a meeting with my perinatologist to speak about the subject of letting them go if born before 29 weeks with major complications.

Needless to say things got VERY ugly at this point, including a post from me that I just lost it with this person. This has put me in self reflection mode and brought up lots of things I struggle with maybe not day to day, but things that I think about.

Did we make the right decision for Connor? Or did we make the right decision for us? Us deciding not to remove life support was that in the best interest of Connor, or was it us not being able to let go? I admit I think the decision was ultimately me being selfish. Not wanting to lose one of my precious babies no matter what. I wonder had the doctors came to us a few weeks or a month or so after birth with the same news would we have made a different decision? But having him for the 11 months before this blow we had got to see a bit of his personality and couldn't imagine life without him.

Not to mention at the beginning of our NICU ride we trusted and thought the doc's had all the answers and knew what was best. But by this time almost a year into a ton of medical stuff, we knew they didn't have all the answers and that mommy gut was the best. Mommy spent hours and hours at each child's bedside. Doctors spent less then 5 minutes a day every few weeks at their bedside as they rotated out from their week long shifts.
Am I selfish?? I don't think so. We almost lost Chloe a couples weeks after birth. I have never told anyone this I don't think. As I held her hand praying that this last ditch effort of a med they were giving would work I whispered in her ear.
I love you so very much and don't want to lose you, but if this is all too much and you need to leave me and be with God, I will always love you no matter what. But I would love for you to FIGHT. Fight and stay with me.

I was sobbing so much and I ran out of the NICU and heaved my guts into the toilet and cried my heart out. Crying a bit now. Chloe made a complete turn around and was our first to come home. As much as she drives me crazy I couldn't imagine life without her or Gwynne or Connor.

But what I think hurt the most was the lack of acknowledgment by the founder and President of this forum! The thread was pulled and a post telling us to "be kind". But no apology. All of us were reprimanded and the new member was let off Scot free. As far as we know the IP has not been banned and this person is still able to post on our forum. I think that letter from the Founder and President was yet another slap in the face to everyone that has been on TC.
There is a quote that I think sums this up and has been a favorite of mine for a very long time. I didn't get it from a great philosopher or anything, but a recording artist. And I think it is a bit fitting.
"In complete darkness we are all the same, it is only our knowledge and wisdom that separates us, don't let your eyes deceive you.” Janet Jackson

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Pink Ponies

The girls are both in their first year of soccer. They had their first game this past Saturday. It was funny and a total headache all in one! The coach sat out Gwynne first period cause the other team was down a girl. Chloe killed us at the kick off! And of course NO VIDEO CAMERA!!! UGH! She looks the other little girl in the face and makes scrunched up face, starts kicking at the ground like a bull about ready to charge and is snorting. Look over to the little girl and she is looking at Chloe like what the....??? She looked a little uneasy that Chloe is about to tackle her. All of us on the sidelines started cracking up. Chloe seems to be LOVING soccer and is pretty good with the ball already. Chloe wears jeresy #2

Each team has 7 girls. So come second period the other girl showed up and Gwynne had to go in. This is where the headache comes in. I was concerned about signing up Gwynne, but I wanted her to at least try. She was a bit shy with all the people on the side lines so she kind of just stood there and watched the other girls. Then she ran off the field to me to tell me she wanted to go to dance class. UGH! So I told her to get back out on the field and we would talk about dance classes. Runs back on the field. About 45 seconds later here she comes again. "mom, I need water." UGH!! Get the heck on the field!!!!!!!! Back on the field, about a minute later....yep! This went on every few minutes through the reminder of the three periods. I don't think she ever touched the ball once! LOL! Gwynne is jersey #4, the second picture she is the one on the right by the girl in the yellow jeresy.

I'm stressing out with the fact that I have two total opposites and will be running from a sporting event to a dancing class/event and vice versa. But I will do what I have to so the girls are active and enjoy extra cirricular activity. Here are a few more pictures from the girls first game.

I can't leave out my little man Connor!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

First Day of School

I know a I'm a little slow, but I got a lot going on. And the pictures really were not that fantastic. They were not happy about the early hour in which they had to get up. Chloe made Gwynne cry and as you can see from the pics she is just one big happy kid! UGH! But things have gotten easier and boy do they go to be so much earlier with less problems now. LOL! The girls have back to school night coming up this Wednesday. So I will be a good mom and get out of work on time to go check things out.

Gwynne got her first homework assignment last week and was VERY excited. Chloe followed a day or two behind her. They had to make these posters for back to school night that has pictures and tells things about themselves. We just finished those up today and they are not bad for last minute. Maybe if I had a bit more creative juice today they would have been much cooler. I'm sure come Wednseday night I will feel inedaquate when I see the others that parents helped their kids with. LOL! Bite Me is all I have to say!!!!!

Friday, September 12, 2008


I could not believe my eyes in class last night!! We had a fairly simple quiz that was on 7 key terms and 3 short fairy tales. These key terms were drilled into our heads last week during class discussion, and another full week to study them and read the stories. I'm a totally procrastinator. So I read two of the stories at lunch yesterday and did a quick review of the key terms.

Got to class about 30 minutes early read the third story and started to try and memorize the terms. What do I see out of the corner of my eye. A lady, in her late 40's early 50's writing down the key terms on her desk!!!!!! What the....?!?!??! And her "friend" sitting in front of her proceeds to do the same thing!!!

I understand that English is not the first language for the majority of the people who attend my college, but come on!!!!

Here is a list of the key terms: Superstition, myth, magic, custom, tradition, ritual & religion. Of these seven terms we had to write the definition for 4 of them and give an example of a ritual for a 5th question. The other 5 questions were about what we had read.

I sat there and ran through my head. Do I turn them in, let it go? Does it really matter to me? I know what I need to know for this quiz. There is no curve grading. Do I let Karma do it's job?

Still today I'm a bit baffled. These women more then likely have children. What are they teaching their children?? Are the terms we were tested on really that hard? I was able to come pretty close to memorizing them word for word in about 10 minutes. Which now having triplet brain is really no easy task for me!

So I took the don't tattle road. Part of my growing up in a bad neighborhood and being the minority I guess, you just kept quiet about these things. I'm marking it up to first test/quiz jitters. But I don't know that I will keep my mouth shut next time around.

Grown women! Not some teenager just out of high school. Not that it would make what happened any better, but some how understandable. It's weird. Everyone should be held to the same accountability. So why does it seem like something far more worse that these grown women possibly mothers cheated on a little quiz?!?!

Okay stepping down off my soap box/high horse.

I'm very excited tomorrow will be the girls very FIRST soccer game!!!!! Maybe I can post those pics and post the 1st day of school pics that are still sitting on the camera!!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Hitting the Books!

It's school time for everyone! Including Mommy!!!! I have not had this many panic attacks in a really long time. The kids and I all started school last week and what a mess it has been. I started at a new college in order to get in the classes I need to apply to nursing school. I got a late registration because I'm a procrastantor. I thought my application was still good, but it wasn't! So I had to re-submit it again hence getting the late registration time. So basically I got one class for sure, but not the one I really wanted. So I did the show up for the first class and cross your fingers you will get added. Well I barely scraped by and got one of the two classes I REALLY wanted this semster. Which I'm kind of excited about. It is a humanities class in mythology. The other class that I was hoping to drop in lew of a poli sci class in public speaking. I was so sick showing up for the first class last night. And it was only made worse by the fact that we have to bring in a VHS tape and ALL our speechs will be taped for us to review. HELP!!!! But I have to say these classes are kind of a nice change from all the science classes I have been taking. Classes to ease me back in after being off for a few months. I just hope the anxiety attacks are over now that the first week of school is over and I have a better feel for the new campus. I might even loose some weight and tone up a bit! There are LOTS of stairs and the parking is on one end of campus and my classes on the opposite end. GOOD TIMES!!! Been sweating my rear off every time I'm there!!!
The kids bus schedule is all messed up again. They had set the kids on the wrong times for summer school and did again for the beginning of this school year. Some how transportation was not informed that the kids are now Kindergardeners and not in Pre-school any longer. So the girls have to get up at 6am to catch the bus by 7am, which is just enough time to get through our morning routine. They should be up at 5:30am, but I refuse to get them up that early. They are NOT happy with this new schedule, but each day seems a bit better. Hopefully with the time change it will get even better. Right now they are using my words against me. I would tell them that is was dark and the sun was asleep so they had to go to bed until the sun came up. Yep! It has come to bite me in the butt now! So when I wake them up at 6am and it is still dark I'm told "it's dark! We have to sleep! There is no SUN!!" of course this is said while yelling, whinning and any other way possible to protest! But week they will get the schedule worked out and the girls will have a later bus time. Right now the girls are on the bus for about an hour going to several diffrent locations to drop other kids off. Today is day four of school for the girls and they have already been late once to school!
Connor has busing issues as well and has missed the last two days of school, but we are told tomorrow everything will be on track. The poor kid has only showed up for the first day of school and has not been back. These are times were I feel really guilty about being a working mom and not at home to get the kids to and from where they need to be. I have been feeling like the worst mom ever recently, and feeling like moms of singletons are judging me. I normally don't give a rat's @$$! But it is getting to me.
I think mostly what it is are the girls are in more activities. And this puts them with other kids their age and they just stand out from the other kids their age. The lack of maturity, listening, etc. I know they are micro preemies, but first they tell you oh they will be caught up when they are about 2. Well that came and went and we still had many delays. So then they tell us they will be caught up by the time they are 5. Well they will be 5 in a little over 7 weeks. I don't think it is going to happen. So when? Will they ever?? Is it something I'm doing?? Am I doing too much for them and not making them independent enough? I know I do a lot of things I should make them do, but it is just so much easier and quicker if I just do them. Again my OCD and control issues rear their ugly head! I realize how totally unprepared I really was for having kids, let alone preemies.

Oh my! It still doesn't seem real that I'm going to have 5 year olds!!! What happen to my babies. They have come such a long, long way.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


I know you have been waiting for pictures!! The girls just finished up their swim lessons last week and started soccer. Busy! Busy! They missed the last day of swim class because of soccer practice. Gwynne is already fighting it a bit. I have feeling she will only be on the field once. She has been very shy with everyone, but last week was the second time she was around her "team".

Thank you Papa for sending me pictures from their swim lesson. We seemed to never take the camera with us. Horrible parents I tell ya! So here they are.

Walking to class

Posed picture for Papa!

We were a little early so craziness insued. Chloe climbing the gate then....
the girls rolling down the hill!

Every Thursday they go to the "Big" pool and get to jump off the diving board! It is tough getting a shot before they hit the water. Chloe runs right out there and jumps with no problems.

This was the first time I had seen Gwynne actually walk out on the board without a lifeguard.

But she couldn't jump! She needed some help being "dropped" in. It is the likes of a spider monkey or a new born baby. Hand and legs fully extened slightly curled. LOL!

Back to the little pool to finish out class!

Summer Lovin!!!!!!!