Thursday, August 27, 2009

Say A Prayer!

Well we were just notified of some new sucktastic law in Kalifornia. Seems that the Regional Centers(RC) can now only give a family 30 hours a month of respite care max. This is a HUGE cut back off our monthly hours we get for Connor from the RC.

Oh and to make it even better. This is effective two weeks ago. No, hey your hours are going to be reduced so get something else lined up for your medically fragile, severe handicapped son. So now the nursing company who supplied us with nurses for the hours we were given are now out the money they would have billed and have to eat the cost and pay the nurses who worked the time. And now we are scrambling.

Some nurse from RC is on her way out for a home visit to see if they can make a special consideration and give us more hours. So basically, the law exists yet there is a work around. And NO need what so ever to cut our respite hours so drastically immediately with no notice.

You wonder why the State of Kalifornia is in such a financial crisis?? Let me shed a little bit of light of why for you.

We were formally residents of one county in the state and moved to another county. Just about all State services Connor gets we had mailings of applications that we had to fill out AGAIN! He is almost 6 and had these services since he came home. You can't transfer this info and his services from one county to another??? His medical conditions and handicapped have not changed in the slightest because we moved.

But evidently there are different standards for each county. Are you freaking kidding me?? You all are getting your money from the same place, why would you have different qualifications??? And why would you waste the paper, postage, man hours in sending out applications that ask for ALL the same information, besides an address change that is already on record. SERIOUSLY!

Oh and it is summing up that the State of Kalifornia would rather my husband or myself quite or jobs, stop paying those extra taxes and all the other money they take from our paychecks and apply for other "services" in order for our family to make it.

Really! I feel guilty as it is for the nursing hours we get, and kinda stupid for bitching right now. But I don't care. I don't want to be nor do we strive to be one of those people sitting around waiting for a check from the government to support our kids.

But you know what??? It was NEVER our choice. If we wanted to bring our son home we had to have a certain number of nursing hours, otherwise Connor goes to a convalescent hospital for kids and when my insurance stops paying and we can't pay, he then becomes a ward of the state and I lose my son. Nice! Real fuckin nice!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Pre-Mid Life Crisis??

My birthday seems to be fast approaching. DAMN IT! Can you have a pre-mid life crisis?? Is it like a pre-teen / tween thing for adults?? I'm like stuck in that I'm not 20 something any more, yet not an old lady (of course despite the grey I try to cover up)

I'm noticing my skin is not as supple and smooth as it once was. Shocker! I'm realizing I actually need to start using some type of moisturizer now on a regular basis. Never needed to before. How the hell does this shit happen?? One week you don't need lotion, then the next if you miss a day your like some ashy nasty thing walking around. I don't feel old, still feel like a total immature shit head. Come on life's too short not to giggle at a fart or if someone says something that can be totally dirty, but was meant totally straight. ALRIGHT! I'm a grown adult with a Beavis & Butthead mentality. SO WHAT! Your just fucking jealous! :P

I have kind of known for awhile that I really have no life. Which was always in the back of my head, but really came rushing forward recently. Am I getting caught up in the "you have to have it all" mentality?? I have a beautiful, somewhat healthy, catch us on the right day happy family. That should be enough, right? Then why isn't it? And the sad thing.....I don't even know what it is that I feel I'm missing.

What I do know is I hate that I'm socially inept. Is there a class or something to take for that? Really, it's a life skill you either have or you don't. And it is scaring the shit out of me that I may be setting my kids up for the same shit.

I'm tired. Tired of being fat, tired of being tired and no energy. Tired of being a lazy ass. Tired of having sucktastic time management. Tired of being depressed, stressed. I feel like a walking fucking pharmacy some days with all these damn aliments and pills to take for them.

So where does that leave me?? I pull up my boot straps and get through another day in hopes tomorrow will be better. In hopes I'm not totally fucking up my kids and hopefully doing something right. That they will be better people then I have been.

Shouldn't one have a somewhat clear view of who the hell they are? I really have no clue who I am as a person. When you front for so long and bend to everyone else I don't think you ever can or will have a true self. Who is Amy? Fuck if I know.

I think I need a fucking therapist for my birthday! LOL!

Saturday, August 8, 2009


So when should the boy trouble begin? Approximately what age now a days do you need to have the sex talk with your kids?

So my BFF and her fam are in town for a few days and spent most of yesterday with us and spent the night. Last year we were in Idaho to visit them over the 4th of July weekend. And my BFF captured a picture of Gwynne and her youngest (who happens to be about 6 months older then the trio)walking down the road hand in hand.

AAWWWWWW! Such sweet innocent love!

Now lets jump a little over a year later. Said boy in above picture was caught in Chloe's closet with her. Two six year olds what could they be doing?!?!?!?!

Can you guess? I won't even make the first guess count.


They were in there kissing each other! DOH!

My BFF son tell us when asked what was going on. "She was kissing me" Now not much of a surprise as Chloe had gotten into a bit of trouble last school year for kissing a boy on the bus.

So we ask him to elaborate and where did she kiss him? He points to his cheeks and forehead. And we ask him if he was kissing her? Which he promptly says "NO!"


So we let a little time go by. And then I ask Chloe. Did "A" kiss you? She gets all shy and covers her mouth with her hand. Something she does when she is embarrassed about something, and nods her head.


And where was "A" kissing you???????/


Without hesitation she points to her LIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG!!! OMFG!!! OMFG!!! OMFG!!!!!


So being the stellar parents that my BFF and I are......... (LOL!!!!!) We are headed to a friends wedding later in the day. We tell them they now have to get married. And while we are at our friends wedding they will be getting married as well with them. ( I told you we are totally mom of the years!!!! Don't even TRY to be like us!)

So my BFF and her fam take off a few hours before us to help set up. I start to get the kids ready. As I'm drying Chloe's hair we have a bit of a heart to heart.

She tells me she can't get married. She isn't a TEENAGER!!!!!! WTF! You better be waiting a bit longer then that. Any one got a heads up on a bomb shelter I can build and put her ass in??? She is just a kid, she can't get married. (THANK YOU JESUS!!!!! She does have a brain in her head! LOL!

In comes some more STELLAR parenting on behalf of my BFF and I! ROFL! So we are BFF's, we refer to each other with our kids as "Auntie". Enter my WAY to smart for her own good daughter in self reflection after the "marriage" talk. "We can't get married he is my cousin" PEOPLE! Had I been drinking anything at the time it would have come FLYING the hell out of my nose!!!!!!!

My response: " WEEEELLLLLLLLL.......He isn't REALLY your cousin." Some how I didn't want my sweet not so innocent child thinking she was being some backwards cousin lovin' white trash girl. So basically, in one sentence I told her it was okay to mac all over "A"!!!!!!

S-T-E-L-L-A-R!!!!! Stellar parenting!

I'm going to be teaching classes in stellar parenting. If your interested and want to sign up. Go to

Thursday, August 6, 2009


Since I'm on a role of bitching. Can we talk about two lane driving?? So we moved kind of to BFE back in June. Lots of open desert between places and a two lane highway used to get home.

Now! It's not like this town is a population of say 500. It has a good amount of people living there. To where there is no way in hell your going to know everyone by name. NOT EVEN CLOSE! Not to mention the traffic of people traveling.

Yes there are no street lights in big chunks of this highway. But do you really need to put your brights on?? NO! Especially if your about a car and half length behind someone else! And oh say there are about 6-7 cars including a semi or two on the patch of road with you. Not to mention that about every 30 seconds or so there is a group of the same coming in the opposite direction to you???? So much traffic on a steady flow that you can't even use the second lane to pass someone in the same lane as you????

Is it me? Am I missing something here??? Isn't your brights used when your out in the middle of no where and it's just you and maybe a car you might come upon once in a great while??? Do I have the wrong driving etiquette? Am I the ass???

And did I miss the re-naming of the pass?? Is it now "Your Own Personal Speedway"? Really, 90 -100 miles an hour up or down the mountain??!?!?! You have lost your damn minds! And you are on the fast track to loosing your life as well. Not to mention who the hell has that kind of money to be burning with the cost of gas!!!!

PEOPLE! PEOPLE! Stop using your damn brights and risking not only your life but those who are sharing the road with you!