My 4 Day Weekend

How low or non -life do I have when the highlight of my four day weekend was sleeping in until about 9:30am on Thursday & Saturday? Pitiful, just down right pitiful!

Thursday I ate more food in one day then I think I have eaten in a period of two or three days. UGH! But it tasted so dang good! Yet already craving the whole feast again. LOL! Spent lots of good times with family. Played a little pool with hubby and my uncle at my FIL's (Father in law). The kids decorated the Christmas tree Friday night after daddy got home from work. They are VERY excited about Christmas and don't feel we have enough ornaments on the tree.


Saturday we finally got out and got the kids their outfits for Christmas and paid a visit to Santa. The girls were way to cute. They had their list in hand and pictures they had drawn of themselves with Santa. Chloe decided last minute she didn't want to give up her picture to Santa.




Connor decided the noise the photographer was making was too much from him. So we only got one shot of all three with no crying. Poor Boogie! He was really upset and hard to calm down.



Gwynne wanted a picture in front of the Christmas tree just outside Santa's house, and my sis looked over to catch her striking a pose. Gwynne cracked me up as well a few minutes later. As we are walking down to another store there was a very tall attractive black women dressed very nice head to toe. I see Gwynne check her out and turn to check her out again. I'm almost positive she gave the women the up down check out that us women tend to do. I busted out laughing, I'm sure she took mental notes. Six people! She is freakin six!!!!


Well I have hit my wall and know now that 4 straight days of my children is TOO MUCH! I lost it a couple times today with them. UGH! The not listening, talking back, then the Diva who doesn't want to do anything unless cash is involved! Just makes a person want to freakin SCREAM! Yet at the same time I don't want to go back to work! Right back to those 12 hour days...Oh boy I can't wait!

Where the hell have you all been?!?!?!

I've been right here blogging away! I have no idea what your talking about. Well I will whine a little bit. Working very long hours at the J-O-B, and now that we have a BIGGER house I spend less time on line then ever before. Hence you don't get to have a dose of my wonderful sense of humor as much as before. LOL!

Well the not so Little's turned 6 this month. Was sitting on Gwynne's bed the other day talking to Chloe and I swear she grew over night!

We took the kids to Disneyland on their Birthday. We would be stupid not to really with the whole free on your B-day thing. We had a blast and spent the entire day. It was great to have an entire week day with the kids and not want to kill one or more of them. Now my mother, husband, or step dad on the other hand. KIDDING!!! Though grandma did get in a little trouble about 10 minutes into the park and the first ride.


Gwynne has been doing cheer leading one night a week and had a little performance. Now she wants to be on the All-Star team who does all those crazy flips and basket toss'. Little miss Diva was SUPER cute and rocked it. I was a bit surprised as she does the shy thing to the extreme so much. We asked Chloe if she wanted to do cheer with her sister. We got a resounding "NO", "I just want to watch the football" LOL! There has been talk of Chloe and daddy taking some karate lessons. Which the last time it was brought up Chloe proceeded to karate kick Jason in his shin. ROFLMBO!!!!!! Guess he should consider himself lucky it wasn't his nads!

As always I'm ill prepared for the Holidays. But what's new. Kids still don't have their Christmas outfits yet, no pictures done. I figure the week before Christmas we will be getting pictures and begging Maryann(CDI Portraits) for our Christmas cards to hand out to everyone on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. LOL! Cause that's how I roll!!!! :P


I have four fun filled days off to spend with my family, or on the Internet when they start driving me bonkers. I'm not sure what I will do with myself having all that free time. Wonder if I can squeeze out one day of not getting out of bed?? Hey a girl can dream!

Oh and Gwynne has not dyed her hair or asked about it any more.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone! Remember to enjoy your family now, they may not be there tomorrow.

P.s. SPELL CHECK!!!!!

To Dye or Not to Dye???

That be the question people! Since anyone who reads this blog or knows me I come from the school of far less then stellar parenting. So I figured since hubby and I are on different sides of this issue. I would see what the public has to say about what we should do. See this is the stellar parenting on my part I'm talking about.

So we have a near 6 year old Diva going on 20 some days. Her newest fixation seems to be the lovely and talented Selena Gomez. Well she has been asking for her hair to be like Selena's. I just figured at first that she wanted it straight, since I have done this with her before. On a few occasions, nothing on a regular basis. There is one slight change. She wants her hair dark like said "actress".

Hubby is an adament NO!, well lets say "HELL NO!"And pretty much pissed that I was entertaining the idea. My look at it is this. Let her express herself now instead of when she is 20 something. Just use a semi-permanent color/wash. It's just hair it will grow back or wash out in 20 or so washes. It is not like she is 6 asking for hot pink hair and a mohawk. Wait, that will probably be Chloe and the mohawk will be green or something. BTW Connor has a little fo-hawk that Auntie did for him. Which hubby kinda had an issue with as well. And he says I'm the one getting too consertive in my old age.

What do you think? Would you do it? Why or why not? Are we starting to early with this stuff? And if we do it, are we setting up for bigger issues down the road?? Or letting her realize that within some reason she can freely express herself while under our stellar authority??

Should I sign the consisten for my 10 year old to get her first tattoo??? }:)

Picture Day!

Here are just a few of my favorite pictures to share.


Remembering Nicki!

The Ladies who keep me sane.

"I HATE YOU, YOUR RUINING MY LIFE!"

Yep! I had that shouted at me last night at bed time! Well not the ruining my life part, but the look was there. It is only a matter of time. **SIGH**

Do I have to state again they are not yet 6?!?! Close, but not yet! Even then, isn't this WAY to young for them to be starting this?

If your wondering, it is the same child who was caught in the closet kissing a boy! (Chloe) UGH!

Dealing with this now at such a young age, what the hell are the teenage, hormone driven years going to be like? CALGON!!!!!! Yeah right! Like that stuff really works. You would be hearing of a hell of a lot of moms just disappearing. LOL!

But really, I was taken a back that this came so quickly. Am I too naive? Is this normal at this age? They pick up the "I hate you" now and add "your ruining my life" in their teenage years? Or should I be expecting it much sooner.

Should I beat their ass now when they say this?? LOL! (Don't report me! It's a joke, you know ha ha funny funny)

How times have changed! I don't remember ever saying anything like this to my mother until I was a teenager. I'm not saying I never thought it, but I don't recollect verbalizing it until a much later age.

Well me being......well.....ME! I had to have the last word. As I left her room I told her:

"You may hate me. But I love you with all my heart, and it hurts me to hear you say that."

YES! STELLAR PARENTING!!!!!! Mom of the year award is mine! MINE! ALL MINE!!!!! (Insert evil laugh)

Say A Prayer!

Well we were just notified of some new sucktastic law in Kalifornia. Seems that the Regional Centers(RC) can now only give a family 30 hours a month of respite care max. This is a HUGE cut back off our monthly hours we get for Connor from the RC.

Oh and to make it even better. This is effective two weeks ago. No, hey your hours are going to be reduced so get something else lined up for your medically fragile, severe handicapped son. So now the nursing company who supplied us with nurses for the hours we were given are now out the money they would have billed and have to eat the cost and pay the nurses who worked the time. And now we are scrambling.

Some nurse from RC is on her way out for a home visit to see if they can make a special consideration and give us more hours. So basically, the law exists yet there is a work around. And NO need what so ever to cut our respite hours so drastically immediately with no notice.

You wonder why the State of Kalifornia is in such a financial crisis?? Let me shed a little bit of light of why for you.

We were formally residents of one county in the state and moved to another county. Just about all State services Connor gets we had mailings of applications that we had to fill out AGAIN! He is almost 6 and had these services since he came home. You can't transfer this info and his services from one county to another??? His medical conditions and handicapped have not changed in the slightest because we moved.

But evidently there are different standards for each county. Are you freaking kidding me?? You all are getting your money from the same place, why would you have different qualifications??? And why would you waste the paper, postage, man hours in sending out applications that ask for ALL the same information, besides an address change that is already on record. SERIOUSLY!

Oh and it is summing up that the State of Kalifornia would rather my husband or myself quite or jobs, stop paying those extra taxes and all the other money they take from our paychecks and apply for other "services" in order for our family to make it.

Really! I feel guilty as it is for the nursing hours we get, and kinda stupid for bitching right now. But I don't care. I don't want to be nor do we strive to be one of those people sitting around waiting for a check from the government to support our kids.

But you know what??? It was NEVER our choice. If we wanted to bring our son home we had to have a certain number of nursing hours, otherwise Connor goes to a convalescent hospital for kids and when my insurance stops paying and we can't pay, he then becomes a ward of the state and I lose my son. Nice! Real fuckin nice!

Pre-Mid Life Crisis??

My birthday seems to be fast approaching. DAMN IT! Can you have a pre-mid life crisis?? Is it like a pre-teen / tween thing for adults?? I'm like stuck in that I'm not 20 something any more, yet not an old lady (of course despite the grey I try to cover up)


I'm noticing my skin is not as supple and smooth as it once was. Shocker! I'm realizing I actually need to start using some type of moisturizer now on a regular basis. Never needed to before. How the hell does this shit happen?? One week you don't need lotion, then the next if you miss a day your like some ashy nasty thing walking around. I don't feel old, still feel like a total immature shit head. Come on life's too short not to giggle at a fart or if someone says something that can be totally dirty, but was meant totally straight. ALRIGHT! I'm a grown adult with a Beavis & Butthead mentality. SO WHAT! Your just fucking jealous! :P

I have kind of known for awhile that I really have no life. Which was always in the back of my head, but really came rushing forward recently. Am I getting caught up in the "you have to have it all" mentality?? I have a beautiful, somewhat healthy, catch us on the right day happy family. That should be enough, right? Then why isn't it? And the sad thing.....I don't even know what it is that I feel I'm missing.

What I do know is I hate that I'm socially inept. Is there a class or something to take for that? Really, it's a life skill you either have or you don't. And it is scaring the shit out of me that I may be setting my kids up for the same shit.

I'm tired. Tired of being fat, tired of being tired and no energy. Tired of being a lazy ass. Tired of having sucktastic time management. Tired of being depressed, stressed. I feel like a walking fucking pharmacy some days with all these damn aliments and pills to take for them.

So where does that leave me?? I pull up my boot straps and get through another day in hopes tomorrow will be better. In hopes I'm not totally fucking up my kids and hopefully doing something right. That they will be better people then I have been.

Shouldn't one have a somewhat clear view of who the hell they are? I really have no clue who I am as a person. When you front for so long and bend to everyone else I don't think you ever can or will have a true self. Who is Amy? Fuck if I know.

I think I need a fucking therapist for my birthday! LOL!

Let the HEADACHE BEGIN!!!!

So when should the boy trouble begin? Approximately what age now a days do you need to have the sex talk with your kids?

So my BFF and her fam are in town for a few days and spent most of yesterday with us and spent the night. Last year we were in Idaho to visit them over the 4th of July weekend. And my BFF captured a picture of Gwynne and her youngest (who happens to be about 6 months older then the trio)walking down the road hand in hand.



AAWWWWWW! Such sweet innocent love!

Now lets jump a little over a year later. Said boy in above picture was caught in Chloe's closet with her. Two six year olds what could they be doing?!?!?!?!

Can you guess? I won't even make the first guess count.

FOR THE LOVE OF BATMAN!!!!!!!!

They were in there kissing each other! DOH!

My BFF son tell us when asked what was going on. "She was kissing me" Now not much of a surprise as Chloe had gotten into a bit of trouble last school year for kissing a boy on the bus.

So we ask him to elaborate and where did she kiss him? He points to his cheeks and forehead. And we ask him if he was kissing her? Which he promptly says "NO!"

GUILTY! Oh so GUILTY!

So we let a little time go by. And then I ask Chloe. Did "A" kiss you? She gets all shy and covers her mouth with her hand. Something she does when she is embarrassed about something, and nods her head.

REALLY?!?!?!

And where was "A" kissing you???????/

OMFG!!!!!!!

Without hesitation she points to her LIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMFG!!! OMFG!!! OMFG!!! OMFG!!!!!

THEY ARE FUCKING SIX YEARS OLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So being the stellar parents that my BFF and I are......... (LOL!!!!!) We are headed to a friends wedding later in the day. We tell them they now have to get married. And while we are at our friends wedding they will be getting married as well with them. ( I told you we are totally mom of the years!!!! Don't even TRY to be like us!)

So my BFF and her fam take off a few hours before us to help set up. I start to get the kids ready. As I'm drying Chloe's hair we have a bit of a heart to heart.

She tells me she can't get married. She isn't a TEENAGER!!!!!! WTF! You better be waiting a bit longer then that. Any one got a heads up on a bomb shelter I can build and put her ass in??? She is just a kid, she can't get married. (THANK YOU JESUS!!!!! She does have a brain in her head! LOL!

In comes some more STELLAR parenting on behalf of my BFF and I! ROFL! So we are BFF's, we refer to each other with our kids as "Auntie". Enter my WAY to smart for her own good daughter in self reflection after the "marriage" talk. "We can't get married he is my cousin" PEOPLE! Had I been drinking anything at the time it would have come FLYING the hell out of my nose!!!!!!!

My response: " WEEEELLLLLLLLL.......He isn't REALLY your cousin." Some how I didn't want my sweet not so innocent child thinking she was being some backwards cousin lovin' white trash girl. So basically, in one sentence I told her it was okay to mac all over "A"!!!!!!

S-T-E-L-L-A-R!!!!! Stellar parenting!

I'm going to be teaching classes in stellar parenting. If your interested and want to sign up. Go to youradumbass.com.

Driving!

Since I'm on a role of bitching. Can we talk about two lane driving?? So we moved kind of to BFE back in June. Lots of open desert between places and a two lane highway used to get home.



Now! It's not like this town is a population of say 500. It has a good amount of people living there. To where there is no way in hell your going to know everyone by name. NOT EVEN CLOSE! Not to mention the traffic of people traveling.

Yes there are no street lights in big chunks of this highway. But do you really need to put your brights on?? NO! Especially if your about a car and half length behind someone else! And oh say there are about 6-7 cars including a semi or two on the patch of road with you. Not to mention that about every 30 seconds or so there is a group of the same coming in the opposite direction to you???? So much traffic on a steady flow that you can't even use the second lane to pass someone in the same lane as you????

Is it me? Am I missing something here??? Isn't your brights used when your out in the middle of no where and it's just you and maybe a car you might come upon once in a great while??? Do I have the wrong driving etiquette? Am I the ass???

And did I miss the re-naming of the pass?? Is it now "Your Own Personal Speedway"? Really, 90 -100 miles an hour up or down the mountain??!?!?! You have lost your damn minds! And you are on the fast track to loosing your life as well. Not to mention who the hell has that kind of money to be burning with the cost of gas!!!!

PEOPLE! PEOPLE! Stop using your damn brights and risking not only your life but those who are sharing the road with you!

Cerebral Contusion

Anyone? Anyone at all? Yeah, until today I had no idea what the hell this was. But I gots it! The info on a cerebral contusion in case you are like me and never heard of it. This is what worries me. "The swelling is worst at around four to six days after the injury." I already feel like ass, trouble talking to people. Which has worked just wonderfully while at work today. Talking and thinking with this just doesn't happen. And I'm just about 24 hours out from the injury. I'm suppose to go back on Friday and feel better. How is that possible if I'm going to be right in the time frame of the WORST SWELLING?!?!?!?!

That being said if I don't feel any better then I do now come Friday he will order a scan. Which seems like a pity scan. I swear I think my doctors feel I'm a hypochondriac. Okay, well I am a little as I'm getting older, but he is the one who pointed out the HUGE lump on the back of my head. How the hell do you fake that shit?

And I found out from another article on-line while my well edited rant from last night happened and why I TOTALLY lost it at bath time. Seems agitation and/or irritability is part of the symptoms.

Those of you who don't know I'm sure are asking how the hell did this happen? The freakin DOG!!!! Had a dog at my feet, got up from the couch and the dog jumped up between my legs knocking me off balance. All my weight (COW - MMMMOOOOOOOOOOO!) was already heading in one direction and I kind of jumped into it to make sure I landed on the couch. Instead of the dog and/or toys and crap that were on the floor. Well I made it alright! Bounced the back of my head with hair clip on the arm of our sectional. Kind of blacked out as I fell. Probably cause my body knew this was not going to be good. So my Orca ass crashed on the couch cracked my head just about open. What about the hair clip you say?!?! What clip? I was pulling little pieces out of my curly hair afterwards.

I guess I should feel lucky it didn't get logged into my head? I mean if you want to look at the piece of shit cup as half full and all. And better for me to be injured who has medical insurance then some big expensive vet bill from a dog with a cracked skull, broken legs, ribs and who knows possibly what else had I went straight down. I did say I'm a whale right? Would the poor dog even had survived? Then I would have to live with killing our dog and my kids hating me and reminding me that there fat mom fell on and killed their dog.

Is it bad that I'm slightly pissed that fall didn't get caught on video? That had to have been some funny crap to see. Nothing cool and beautiful like a whale breaching the water. But more like a total spaz who shouldn't be allowed to move around without her crash helmet and bubble wrap on!

Kid's Handbook or Mother's Handbook

In who's handbook is it writen that I cannot go into a bathroom and be alone to handle what ever business I may need to attend to? That the only place on this earth I can catch a few moments alone is the bathroom at work.

Your kids can't hear you when you tell them to pick up their mess, brush your corn teeth, let the dog out, rinse their plates. HOWEVER, they can be fully involved in anything anywhere in the house and they hear the quiet subtle click of the bathroom door closing and come running!

Suddnely there are pressing questions that just can't wait and where never thought of until that click was heard.

"Mom? How come the sky is blue? Can I come in? What are you doing? Will you play with me?" Seriously?!?! Did I tell you I had the BEST shower this Saturday at my sisters? Yep! I got to take a full shower uninteruppted. I can't even say when the time before that was.

There other thing that needs to be revised. Why if a child is in limb reach of you they must have a hand, foot what ever on you for NO APPARENT reason? Can I just sit on the couch in peace once in awhile. And can I have my "Personal space"? If their isnt' a limb then I have a kid attached to my side, sometimes both.

I'm not practicing staking my tomatoes! Go be free! "This is my dance space. This is your dance space. I don't go into yours, you don't go into mine." I thought everyone knew this!

I need to know whose handbook this is written in find it and edit it! As I sit now I have two feet on me going back and forth between my arm and the computer. UGH! I'm about to loose my freaking mind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so beyond TIRED!!!!!!!

Where to start! I have been working 11-12 hours every day at work, add commute time and I'm gone for about 14 hours a day Mon-Fri. Boy that pay check this week was nice, but I have not seen my family. I'm burned out and don't want to go to work. All this overtime and I'm still not caught up and will be doing the same again come next week.
That all being said. This means no I'm not unpacked. There are tons of boxes in my garage needing to be unpacked. A ton of laundry still to be done. Where is my Fairy Godmother? Cause the cat box needs to be cleaned the floors mopped, pictures hung. I could kiss my nurse that vaccumed the downstairs this morning and swept my kitchen.
Is it bad that I don't remember the last time my kids had a bath? Let alone the last time I gave them a bath? And there breath!!!!! OMFG!!!! KICKIN, doesn't even begin to explain it. There toothbrushes and toothpaste are unpacked. So, why? Why are their teeth not getting brushed? UGH! Can I make them each drink a bottle of Scope??? Or is that child abuse/endangerment?
I need like one full weekend of just sleep. Is that possible?? I wish!

FAIRY GODMOTHER WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?

All moved in!

For the most part that is! :-). And our first mortgage payment is due Aug 1! LOL! I'm surround by boxes and unable to park our cars in the garage because of more boxes. My kitchen is unpacked and that is about it. Yet for some strange reason I have yet to cook in my new kitchen!

Sorry pics are before flooring was put in.

In about 4 days of being moved in the girls managed to put a hole in the wall on the staircase and a big gash/dent on the landing of the staircase, UGH! It seems they have found a new use for their step stool. Which BTW is now taken away for the time being. They are launching toys down the stair case. Also standing on the stool on the 2nd floor dropping toys and who knows what else over the ledge. Head shaking!

So after this weekend we will be completely out of our old place. Have some yard toys that didn't make it in the truck and toys that the kids are too old for I need to run to the hospital and donate for their play room.

I hope to have most of the house unpacked by the end of the weekend and get some groceries in this house as well. Money has been flying out with us eating out so much for the last week. But we kind of knew that was gonna happen. But everyone is off schedule and we need to get back into the routine.

Check back for some more photos. Gwynne's room is all painted and done and we should have Connor and Chloe's done hopefully next weekend.

Lots to catch up on!

I kind of abandoned the blog for a bit. Things happen I guess. Well we are officially home owners as of last week. Next weekend is the big move. Doing some painting in the kids rooms today. I'm very excited about owning a home, but scared to hell as well. I think it is all the changes that are going to come with this move. But we will roll with the punches and enjoy our new home.

The kids will each have their own rooms. Not sure how well this is going to work with the girls. They seem excited, but they have shared a room since the day they came home. So I expect to find an extra body in one room or the other after we move in.
Packing SUCKS!!!! Only made worse by I have had to work a lot of extra hours at work. So Jason has had to kind of pick up the slack and do a lot of the packing. But I think we are on track to be ready for the move.

All of this compounded by me just being plain flat exhausted! Saw the doc and he thinks it could be my thyroid. Last blood test I guess it was okay but barely. So I may be adding another pill to my daily's. GREAT! I have really lost my spunk lately, so hopefully I will get that back way sooner then later.

Ok this post is really boring so I will leave it at that for now.

What Crap!

I have been part of a Triplet board(Was gonna put the link in but SCREW THAT!) pretty much since day one of finding out we were having triplets. The owners/mods are pretty non existent and have no clue what is going on around the boards. That is until someone sends them a message. WTF!

We all understand that sometimes the smaller person needs to be protected. I'm all for that. But you can only protect them so much. How many times do they get to kick around and stir up trouble for the more active long standing members??? How supportive can you be with excuse after excuse?

The situation did get out of hand. But when people's frustration is that high things are going to escalate.

I know a good part of what this person is going through. But don't get the reactions. Both my husband and I worked full time and had two of the three at home. We busted our ass to get our son home. A convalescent was never an option, and we did everything we needed to do. Jumped through every hoop the hospital wanted us to. Did we like it, no! But we understood why and knew it was best for Connor.

There have been more times then not that I didn't feel like I quit fit in on this triplet board. My situation was very different then everyone there. But I digested everything that was said. These parents had already paved the way for me, more of an expert then I was having triplets.

But I guess it comes down to who you are as a person. I don't like people telling me I can't do something, and I hate authority and love to make my own path and not be a sheep. I know what needs to get done and I do it. I suck it up and just freakin do it! There is no time for pity and crying about it. Everyone has their own problems in life and you don't need to make yourself one of their problems. Do your shit, do what is right by your family and eat a little crow if you have to in order to make that happen.

So I'm done. I'm not on this board that much anymore since the kids are older. But the people on the board really helped me through a very tough time with my kids. I was hoping to pay it forward. But this is the second time the owner has slapped me in the face. One too many times if you ask me.


And here I was trying to figure out if I was going to pay through the nose to go to the convention. Thank you Janet for making the decision for me! The answer is not just "NO!" but HELL NO!!!!!

Easter

I'm a Loser Baby!!! So why don't ya kill me!!!

Alright not the best title, but.....WHATEVER!!! It has been a very stressful time for me. I really thought I was about to lose it that week after Gwynne and my grandmother were in the hospital. I got my first anatomy test back and it wasn't good. Missed a passing low C by three points. Totally defeated. Then had to stay late and get caught up at work and try to study for the next test coming up. Add to that landlord and money issues.

UGH! I was living on Pepsi and pills pretty much at this point trying to keep it together. And that was failing fast!

So I wussed out and dropped my anatomy class. I was not prepared for what it was going to take to pass this class. And it was the only thing I had in my control to get rid of some stress.

I have not been this stressed out since the kids where born, dropped about 20lbs without knowing it or trying. And now I feel like a failure cause I couldn't take or pass this class at the moment.

Well Gwynne is home and doing well. She did end up with a middle ear infection this week, but otherwise back to normal. Grandma is pretty much back to herself, a little slower moving around then before.

I'm not going to class, but it still feels like I'm never home at night. I think I need a life coach. Doubt it would work, but worth the shot I guess. Something to get me on track again.

I have and adult weekend coming up and I'm excited and stressed all at the same time. How stupid is this?! But I think after a couple Black & Tans all might be right in my world for a bit. LOL! Who's the DD again on this trip??

HAZZAH!!!!

It's Friday Night just before 11pm......

What are you doing???

I'm getting old.....all I can think about right now is do I go to sleep or run down to the hospital cafteria and grab a Tollhouse chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwich and a soda.

What happen to those nights were 11pm and the night was just getting started?? Just finished up dinner and some drinks with friends and off to the club for some more drinks and dancing??

Oh! That's right.....forgot about the part of being married and a mom of triplets!

What is your life coming to when you long for a soft comfy bed about 11pm on a Friday or Saturday cause you know your gonna be lucky if the monley's let you sleep past 8am!

But enough about my wants and desirees! Not only am I too old for that stuff anymore, but the tollhouse ice cream sandwiches have added WAY too much weight to this body!!!!!

There was a time that my thighs didn't rub together, and the friction didn't cause the cotton to tear and thin in that area. I didn't look 4-5 months pregnant, heck I didn't really have a stomach, even for being a bit over weight.

See there I go again.

Gwynne is stable. On 1 1/2 liters of O2 and breathing treatments now every 4 hours instead of every 3.

If she can hang on 1 liter tomorrow with no issues, I think I will be pushing for her to come home on Sunday with oxygen. There is no need for us to stick around until the ween her completely off. The girl has her very own O2 tank at home still. And this chair that fold out into a "bed" just ain't cutting it, nor is the towel they refer to as a pillow. I'm so ticked that I forgot to bring my own pillow tonight after stopping at home.

Will update later with any news. Hope everyone is having some type of fun somewhere! ;-P

Update

Well things got bad after my post last night. Gwynne ended up on 4 1/2 liters of O2 and still had a bit of trouble keeping stats at 94-95. There was talk of moving to ICU and having her breathing treatments every two hours instead of the current every three hours. Basically, hospital procedure is no one on 4 liters or more of oxygen is suppose to be on the Pediatric floor, only ICU. Had they decided to do treatments every two hours her butt would have been in ICU for sure.


We had lots of destats on 4 1/2 liters and had to keep her position very specific to keep her stats up. FUN TIMES!!! When is the last time you tried to get a 5 year old to sleep sitting up, head back slightly and not pull out the O2 while she slept. EXACTLY!!! Oh and every three hours she thought she was being attacked by the breathing mask for her treatment cause the poor thing was so damn tired.

Last night scared the crap out of me! I had visions of the last time she was like this and ended up pooping out in the ICU entubated and on a vent for about two weeks. You think this would a be a little easy with all the crap these kids have gone through and I have watched. But it seems to get harder. They are older now, they know what the hell is going on. Every time Gwynne's alarm would go off for low stats she would ask "momma, what does that mean?"

And recently Gwynne has also been asking about all of the scars she has and what happened and why. Gut wrenching to say the least.

She is now at 2 liters of O2 since this morning and doing well, just tried to put her down to 1 1/2 liters and about 5 minutes later we are back to 2 liters. Trying to get her to nap since about 3pm, but it seems I picked a bad time. Just as she was dozing off it was time for another treatment and for the nurse to do vitals.

My baby girl has dark circles under her eyes and needs some sleep. I could use a nap and a long hot shower myself at this point.



*Pics were taken yesterday before things went a bit south.

Hospital....such a filthy word!

I have had my fill of hospitals in the last four days! I have been AWOL lately since I started my anatomy class trying to figure out studying and keeping up with my "other" stuff. Currently that means this blog and all the blogs I love to read. UGH!

But guess what! I had my first huge test in anatomy on Tuesday that I think I may have passed by the skin of my teeth. Not sure if I will find out tomorrow or next week on Tuesday. So a bit of a sigh of relief.

As I'm stressing over said test and studying my rear off this past weekend my cousin calls me. Grandma is in an ambulance on the way to the hospital. FRACK!!!! Heart in the stomach about ready to puke. Well grandma had a stroke the women is 86 years old and going some what strong. Scared the death out me and kind of slapped us in the face just how fragile she is. And I hate that she is a bit far from us, not really but with my schedule it can be very difficult to find time, there is so much to get done on a weekend. And she is just far enough that we can't really go down during the week after work. So I have this tremendous guilt of the complete lack of time I have spent with her over the last year. Well grandma is doing fine. She will not need any physical therapy, fairly small stroke and she can walk as normal and full range of motion. She still has some confusion, but hell the women is 86!

Oh but the fun does not freakin stop there!!!!!!!Gwynne is hacking up a lung yesterday and tells me she doesn't feel well. No fever figure yet another cold for this season of many and send her off to school. Now lets fast forward to this morning. I awake to a child in my bed with purple lips, breathing fast & retractions. You have got to be kidding me! Put her on the pulse ox, just before it dies, it says 88. This is not good! All her other colds she has been able to hold her stats while hacking up a lung. Breathing treatments only got her up to the low 90's and that was spotty. Well we are sitting in the hospital now started out on 1 liter of O2 this morning we are now up to 2 liters. Chest x-ray shows no pneumonia, so it's looking like exhausterbation. GOOD TIMES!!!

But hey, it's been just a bit shy of 2 years since her last hospital stay and according to the latest x-ray some of her scaring from the Chronic Lung Disease seems to have cleared up and looks better!

Basically this sums up to, I have missed the last three days of work, spent the last four days in two different hospitals, and have finger, toes, legs, arms and anything else I can freakin think of crossed that I passed by first anatomy test. I will dance a jig if I pull a 'C', if I get a 'B' I might just do cartwheels! But not holding my breath after I screwed up one of the essay questions and didn't write another one of the four possible essay questions cause I didn't think he would use it. SURPRISE!!!!!

And my night is just getting better. Gwynne has drifted off to sleep and can't hold her stats over 90 asleep on 2 freakin liters!!!! I do NOT want a trip to the freakin PICU!!!!

But one awe moment before I go. We talked to Chloe on the phone today. She told me to get Gwynne and come home cause she misses us. She barely finished the sentence before she started to cry. Made me sad, but gave me that warm fuzzy feel at the same time.

Off to get a nurse and RT in here for my baby girl!

STRESSED Out!!!

I'm freaking out! I just completed my first week of school, taking my anatomy class. For the love of BATMAN!!!!!! Class is two days a week FIVE hours each night, and I need to do a MINIMUM of 12-15 hours of studying for this one class every week!!!

I'm scared I won't pass this class, yet I'm excited as all hell over this class. It is weird. Why did it take me so long to figure out that I had a knack for this? Let's hope my brain doesn't let me down.

Now lets add in a minimum of 50 hours of work a week, family, and sleep. You get the picture! I won't even bring in the state of the Nation that has me stressed out. Stressed and scared is really an under statement with the financial "crisis" we are in.

Which leads me to the people not sucking it up! I'm sick of people with their dang hands out, expecting everyone else to pay their way. The entitlement of a lot of people drives me through the roof. How the hell did these people get like this? How do you weed them out of the people who truly need help?

I don't mind the programs in place to help people in need, if they are REALLY in need. Hard times hit people. But everyone seems to have their hand out right now. Where do you draw the line?

If I had more finesse and could lie out my ass to people I should go into politics. LOL! Is there anyone out there who is straight forward and out for the best interest of us as a Nation or State?

I'm tired of busting my ass and doing WHAT EVER it takes to make it in life and have nice things, and other people are not like that. I have to give up "luxury's" that I have earned and worked for so other people can sit on their rear and have everything I do? Imagine if everyone busted their ass to take care of themselves? HOLY COW!! What has happen to the work ethic in this country?

We get some state assistance for my son via medical. But it is mandatory. If I want my son home with us and not in an "institution" we have to have nursing hours, which my insurance only has a one time pay out that we already used. I feel guilty as all get out that we get these benefits. It helps us tremendously, as if we didn't two things would happen. One, my husband would have to stop working and we would be come dependent on more state programs for our family to survive. Or I would have to give up my son to the state who would institutionalize him pending a foster home in which they would be paying out for nursing as they do for us now and pay more out of pocket while he was in a "home".

I'm the first to admit my kids are spoiled to all hell. But you know what they are going to now they have to work for crap, things are expected of them. People stop coddling your darn kids! Oh it might hurt their feelings....W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R!!!!!! That is not how life is, prepare your children for life, don't protect them away from it.

Alright I will get off my soapbox now. Talk amongst yourselves. Is there some way we can start a commune of sorts?? LOL!

Let me go figure out now if I can feed my family normal food or if it is top ramen and PB&J for everyone!

Bleeding Heart

Yep! That is me! Only been a little over 48 hours since Jason took the dog back. I'm sick to the pit of my stomach and feel guilty as hell. I cried more then the girls did on Saturday. I have done nothing but think about him. We had some thunder and it has been raining since Thursday. So all I can think is he is in some cage cold, scared, sad and wondering why we don't love him.

Dang it! Already starting to tear up. I think this will be the third time I have cried today! It took all my restraint not to call the shelter and check on him, and not run over there on my lunch to steal a peek at him.

They claim they are a no kill shelter. Anyone know how to confirm that, rather then just taking their word?

I did the right thing for my family and those who help care for my kids, right?

For the love of Pinocchio I'm an emotional wreck! Gwynne has been telling me that she misses Maestro, and that she woke up last night and saw a dog in the house. UGH!

I couldn't take him so the girls and I said our good-bye's at the house and Jason took him. My mom, sis & I took the girls to go pick out their Valentine cards and did a little shopping. When we got home they immediately asked where the dog was.

Just a gentle reminder that we talked about this already and they were good. I guess they were not as attached to the dog as I was. But then again the promise of getting another dog maybe what is holding it off. I don't know.

If any one in the Los Angeles area reads this and knows someone who wants a dog with a great personality and lovable as all hell and doesn't have a lot of people coming and going out of their house and wants a bit of a guard dog. He is the one for you! I will tell you where to find him.

What kind of mess am I gonna be in if one of my cats ever dies?!?!?!

It is times like this that I feel having no connections and just yourself to worry about is the best freakin way to go.

Jason wants to get a puppy ASAP. I'm not sure what I want. But I worry if we wait to long I will not allow another dog in the house for my own selfish reasons.

BTW - The cats are happy as freakin can be! At least someone is I guess.

Dog Drama!!!

This past Tuesday was two weeks that we have had Maestro. There have been a few instances that have raised an eyebrow of Jason and I. We are both totally torn and had a decision to make. It is freakin awful and hard to figure out. I still don't know if we are making the right decision.

So here is the situation. Chloe is ALWAYS in the dogs face, doesn't really know how to play toys with him. She squeeks his toy and then holds it over her head and makes him jump. She thinks it is funny. We have to yell at her to throw the toy. She even pulls his tail and he does nothing.

That being said, he has freak out moments. First moment, he is sleeping on the floor and Gwynne gets down off the couch and he jumps and barks at her and lunges. We kind of let it go thinking she might have stepped on him or startled him.

Second situation, I'm snuggling with Connor on the couch. Connor has his O2 mask on and is gurggling. When he has his O2 mask over his trach you can hear him breathing for sure, and some mucous back there and you hopefully get the point. Maestro came up and sat next to us. A couple minutes later Maestro is growling and barks at Connor. We put him down and discipline him. About 5 minutes later he is back up with us and I'm careful and have Connor pet him. A few minutes later again he growls and barks and lunges for him. Scared the shit out of us. Any other time he has been around Connor he has been on his vent, not much noise compared to his O2 mask.

Now we come to last night. Sigh! Our weekly night nurse shows up. Maestro is fast asleep on the couch. The nurse didn't close our gate and came in really quiet into the house. She was standing in the entry way/kitchen. Maestro comes flying off the couch barking at her. Normally he meets her at the door all happy and jumps up for attention. So I thought he will chill once he gets her scent. He gets to her feet and plants his front paws and has his hind in up and is barking aggressive. She backs up and I get up and I'm yelling at him. He lunges forward and keeps on. I pull him away and he calms down. So I think it is over. We are all in the kitchen at this point. She turns to walk away and he sniffs her pants and the top of her rubber rain boots and starts the barking thing again. UGH!

After all this he comes and lays down close to me, on my lap really and falls back to sleep. He doesn't bother her again. Then we are getting ready for bed and if I move the dog moves, he is my total shadow. The rubber boots are sitting just in side the kitchen by our water cooler. He spots them and jumps toward him and barks a couple times. I yell at him and he backs off. So was it the boots?

So....do we give him more time to settle in. Or cut the stings now? I'm so freakin torn. I don't want to wait until he does bite someone. But at the same time I don't think he will.

Well we error on the side of caution for our kids. I don't know how the hell this is going to go down with the girls. Especially Chloe. There is no way we can run out and get another dog. Money wise we have spent a lot already on this dog in two weeks. There is no way we can dish out for a puppy like Jason wants to do and pay for all the first shots. Plus we still have to pay the last installment of our pet deposit

This past Tuesday was two weeks that we have had Maestro. There have been a few instances that have raised an eyebrow of Jason and I. We are both totally torn and had a decision to make. It is freakin awful and hard to figure out. I still don't know if we are making the right decision.

So here is the situation. Chloe is ALWAYS in the dogs face, doesn't really know how to play toys with him. She squeeks his toy and then holds it over her head and makes him jump. She thinks it is funny. We have to yell at her to throw the toy. She even pulls his tail and he does nothing.

That being said, he has freak out moments. First moment, he is sleeping on the floor and Gwynne gets down off the couch and he jumps and barks at her and lunges. We kind of let it go thinking she might have stepped on him or startled him.

Second situation, I'm snuggling with Connor on the couch. Connor has his O2 mask on and is gurggling. When he has his O2 mask over his trach you can hear him breathing for sure, and some mucous back there and you hopefully get the point. Maestro came up and sat next to us. A couple minutes later Maestro is growling and barks at Connor. We put him down and discipline him. About 5 minutes later he is back up with us and I'm careful and have Connor pet him. A few minutes later again he growls and barks and lunges for him. Scared the shit out of us. Any other time he has been around Connor he has been on his vent, not much noise compared to his O2 mask.

Now we come to last night. Sigh! Our weekly night nurse shows up. Maestro is fast asleep on the couch. The nurse didn't close our gate and came in really quiet into the house. She was standing in the entry way/kitchen. Maestro comes flying off the couch barking at her. Normally he meets her at the door all happy and jumps up for attention. So I thought he will chill once he gets her scent. He gets to her feet and plants his front paws and has his hind in up and is barking aggressive. She backs up and I get up and I'm yelling at him. He lunges forward and keeps on. I pull him away and he calms down. So I think it is over. We are all in the kitchen at this point. She turns to walk away and he sniffs her pants and the top of her rubber rain boots and starts the barking thing again. UGH!

After all this he comes and lays down close to me, on my lap really and falls back to sleep. He doesn't bother her again. Then we are getting ready for bed and if I move the dog moves, he is my total shadow. The rubber boots are sitting just in side the kitchen by our water cooler. He spots them and jumps toward him and barks a couple times. I yell at him and he backs off. So was it the boots?

So....do we give him more time to settle in. Or cut the stings now? I'm so freakin torn. I don't want to wait until he does bite someone. But at the same time I don't think he will.

Well we error on the side of caution for our kids. I don't know how the hell this is going to go down with the girls. Especially Chloe. There is no way we can run out and get another dog. Money wise we have spent a lot already on this dog in two weeks. There is no way we can dish out for a puppy like Jason wants to do and pay for all the first shots. Plus we still have to pay the last installment of our pet deposit to our landlord.

We have a very rough weekend ahead. I hope we are making the right decision and don't traumtize this poor dog any more then we may already have.

Is that his Brains?!?!?!

That was the question put to me yesterday morning. I had Gwynne home sick from school and the dog was chilling on the couch. He had rolled over on his back with his belly and private areas fully exposed for all to see.

Gwynne walks up and eye balls them ( no pun inteded). Points and squishes up her nose and asks " Are those his brains????

Thank GOODNESS I was not eating or drinking anything at the time. I might have died from choking. I nearly pissed my pants. Here is a 5 year old and she already knows where the brains of men lay!

But I was a good mom and didn't tell her "Why YES! Those are his brains!" Instead I told her that is his private parts, his penis and balls.

Which she was totally fine with, but for some reason the thought of that being his brains freaked her out. Should I be worried????

Evils of Facebook!

What an evil thing, I was never this addicted to MySpace. I can't remember the last time I was on MySpace, and when I was it was only to play poker. And the applications! They are never ending! Do they realize what this does to someone with OCD?!?!?!

Then a fellow triplet mom gets me started on Mafia Wars! OMFP! I was actually going to my computer in the middle of the night if I got up to bank my money so no one could come beat up on me and take my cash! I'm even more evil that I made my sister start playing. And she is doing the same thing!

I have "friends" now that I don't even know them....but they play Mafia Wars and I need them as part of my Mafia. I have lost my mind.

Totally forgotten about my blog until my BFF tells me today "How come I didn't know you had a blog?" The answer to that is cause I'm a slacker! (Love ya K!) Oh and I have been obsessed with Facebook and all it's freakin applications. Food Fling, Mafia Wars, Dragon Wars, some chocolate factory thing, sending plants and fishes to save the rain forest and ocean. Sending presents to put under friends tree's. Sending each other purses & shoes we can't have in real life! How mean is that crap?!?! And arresting people for stealing a cookie out of the cookie jar.

A Facebook application even allows you to kidnap you friends to different places of your choosing and knocking them out with a 8 ball in a sock, a Yorkie Yap, or in a stinky backpack. LOL!

This is where I have spent my free time. Totally forgetting about my blog and everyone else's that I love to read. Talk about your head up your ass!

Then I got a cousin that my sister and I traumatize on Facebook, and an Aunt who reports back to my mom. Holy crap Batman! LOL!

But I guess one good thing I did take a break for a couple days to read a book! A Tween book but a book none the less.

Oh and to add to the family. We adopted a very sweet little guy name Maestro who is a cocker spaniel mix.




It's all Facebooks fault I tell ya!

Okay I gotta go and check my status on Mafia Wars now!

Christmas pictures!

Bet you have all been wondering. Sittin on pens and needles. LOL! I ain't got NOTHIN! Yep. Wake up Christmas morning grab the camera. NOTHIN! It seems two little girls, one in particular got hold of the camera over a period of 4 days. We couldn't take any pictures, but could still see and view the pics already on the camera.

It seems we have a budding photographer on our hands. There is a random shot of a naked butt. Not sure what that is about but Jason and I did get a good chuckle out of it. Our camera also does video and there are a couple very short videos that are a total giggle.

So now we are waiting for our camera to be fixed through the warranty. My sister snapped a few pics, we will see if she shares. ;-)

The kids were very excited about Christmas. Santa made a stop to say Hi and Papa and Grandma Ferris house. There was no pullin a fast one with Gwynne. LOL! As Chloe and their cousin Jacob got excited Gwynne is yellin "That isn't Santa! It's grandpa!" We all were cracking up!

Did I tell you all that my kids are too smart for their own good sometimes?!Chloe busted me the other day about Santa. Five years old and they are nailing me. I thought I was all stealthy and got nailed.

My mom and dad would always use the same paper for their presents and Santa. So the last two years I have bought "Santa" paper. Well a roll of "Santa" paper didn't get put in the paper bin, the roll was too long. Chloe spotted it while in my bedroom. She tells me one hand on her hip and the other pointing at wrapping paper "YOU NOT SANTA!!!!!!" I tried to play stupid, but Chloe wasn't having it! LOL!

So five years old and the Santa thing may be busted already! UGH!

The kids got so much stuff. Grandma E went a little crazy. She sure does love to shop for her babies! I could have tossed EVERYTHING in their room before Christmas, and you NEVER would have known.

Chloe got some Hot Wheels an track and a NASCAR racing track & horses, horses, horse. She is a very happy girl! Not to happy when she opened something that was clothes. LOL! Gwynne got some jewelry and vanity table and color gems. She was a very very happy as well. Connor was a bit overwhelmed with all the excitement. But he was a happy happy boy with all the new stuff he got. The toys he got that sing and make noises he just cracks up.

I can leave you with our Chirstmas Card. We did pictures last minute. Thank you to another triplet mom who is a wonderful photographer Maryann. Here is a link to some other pictures and cards that she had desinged. She is fantastic with kids! Well she is fnatastic period. :-) http://mkcards.blogspot.com/

Happy New Year!